Today, I don’t know where I would be without the help of the Farm Team.

Today, I have a rewarding job, monetary security, my own car, a place I pay for on my own.

And still, with all of these things, I realize they are material and how much more I’ve been given because of the opportunities afforded me by the help of this group.

I have struggled with alcoholism for many years. In and out of treatment and different facilities, I began to allow this and my long downward spiral to be my norm. Hopelessness and being a source of disappointment and heartache were forces I thought I was too weak to face; too helpless to change.

I had managed to get some clean time the year of 2014, yet during this time I did not realize that solely staying away from the drink was not a defense against this disease. I succumbed again in the winter and into the next year. It turned darker and seemingly more inescapable than it ever had before, and happened so much faster than I thought possible. One night, by the grace of a higher power, I finally reached out for help.

My sister, who is now a part of the Farm Team, answered my call. I was – I am – in awe of the serenity and happiness that she found in sobriety. To me, it is palpable. I saw it during the throws of my addiction, and it offered me a beacon of light in the darkness.

After my call, she reached out to the team for help. Only hours later did we receive word: I had a full scholarship to Livengrin Foundation.

Being from New York and never having been to the Bucks County area, along with facing all I knew I had to face, I was quite fearful. Yet, from the moment I called my sister that night, I’ve felt like there has been a guardian angel guiding me through every transition and step, including learning how to grow on my own.

The team assisted me with transportation to rehab, and funded an entire 28 days. Due to insurance, or lack thereof, I had previously never been given the opportunity to stay longer than 14 days in a rehabilitation facility. Nor had I been able to stay at one that was so helpful and comforting and so forthright in giving me the tools to stay sober. They provided the stepping stones to finding serenity and a new found happiness; a life not simply without the drink, yet one rich and full and honest.

I watched with empathy as so many residents battled with insurance companies and funds to pay for their stay. I feel blessed.

Livengrin did help me with finding a recovery house, but I know it was also due in part to the aid of the Farm Team that I ended up in a well respected and well reputed home. I reaped the benefits of living there, and continued to grow.

Even after all they had done for me, I still received frequent updates from my sister regarding the Farm Team and how they looked for ways to help me. Here I had this group of people, most of whom I had never met, looking out for my well being.

They aided me in finding a rewarding job. There is so much to be said for having the stability and the added freedom that comes from such an opportunity. It has also restored some lost feelings of productivity; of having a place in the world; of feeling a part of.

I came from a place of desperation; of hopelessness. As I said, I don’t know where I would be today without their help. I have had to do a lot of work to come as far as I have, and I know there’s much work ahead. And yet words cannot begin to express the gratitude I feel towards the Farm Team for the many times they put their hand out along the way and offered me so much. Their advocacy has been a tremendous blessing.

Every single day, I am teeming with gratitude for what I have been given. I am honored to be able to express this gratitude, and seek to live by the example they set forth for me.

September 6th, 2016

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