Looking back now, I honestly can't imagine where I'd be if the Farm Team hadn't stepped in.
These days I hold a fulfilling job, have financial stability, drive my own car, and pay for my own home.
Even so, I recognize those things are just material—and I've gained so much more from the chances this group made possible for me.
Alcoholism has been my battle for many years. Moving in and out of treatment and various facilities, I started to accept that life and my long downward spiral as normal. Hopelessness, along with being a source of disappointment and heartache, felt like forces I was too weak to confront and too helpless to change.
I had managed to get some clean time in 2014, but I didn't understand then that simply staying away from alcohol wasn't enough to defend against this disease. I gave in again that winter and into the following year. It grew darker and seemed more inescapable than ever, and it happened far faster than I thought possible. One night, by the grace of a higher power, I finally asked for help.
My sister, who is now part of the Farm Team, took my call. I was—and still am—in awe of the serenity and happiness she found in sobriety. To me, it's palpable. I saw it even in the depths of my addiction, and it gave me a beacon of light in the darkness.
After my call, she contacted the team for help. Just hours later we got word: I had a full scholarship to Livengrin Foundation.
Coming from New York and never having been to the Bucks County area, and facing everything I knew I had to face, I was quite afraid. Yet from the moment I called my sister that night, it has felt like a guardian angel has guided me through every transition and step—including learning how to grow on my own.
The team helped with transportation to rehab and funded a full 28 days. Because of insurance—or the lack of it—I had never before been able to stay longer than 14 days in a rehabilitation facility. Nor had I been able to stay at one so helpful and comforting, and so straightforward in giving me the tools to stay sober. They laid the stepping stones to serenity and a newfound happiness—a life not simply without the drink, but one rich, full, and honest.
I watched with empathy as so many residents struggled with insurance companies and with funds to pay for their stay. I feel blessed.
Livengrin did help me find a recovery house, but I know it was also partly thanks to the Farm Team's aid that I ended up in a well-respected, well-reputed home. I reaped the benefits of living there and kept growing.
Even after everything they had done for me, my sister still sent frequent updates about the Farm Team and how they kept looking for ways to help me. Here was this group of people—most of whom I had never met—looking out for my well-being.
They helped me find a rewarding job. There's so much to be said for the stability and added freedom that comes from such an opportunity. It has also restored some lost feelings of productivity—of having a place in the world, of feeling part of something.
I came from a place of desperation and hopelessness. As I said, I don't know where I would be today without their help. I've had to do a lot of work to come as far as I have, and I know there's much work ahead. Still, words can't begin to express the gratitude I feel toward the Farm Team for the many times they reached out along the way and offered me so much. Their advocacy has been a tremendous blessing.
Every single day I am overflowing with gratitude for what I've been given. I'm honored to be able to express that gratitude, and I strive to live by the example they set for me.
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